Monday, 30 March 2015

What is MARRIAGE without SHARING?

Every marriage brings about two different and distinct people to be as one, irrespective of race, religion, creed, affiliation, nationality, etc. The man/husband as head of the home has the wife/ mother as the home maker.

Nowadays, its common to see both couple work and striving to meet the needs of the family especially in the economy/society we find ourselves in. Gone are those days of "housewife" except your husband is super-rich, Lolz, or maybe unemployment. In most cases, wives are even earning more than their husbands now, I know a few that does.

Weeks ago, while talking with a friend of mine, he asked me a question that not only shocked me but got me thinking. He asked "Is it wrong for a husband to know how much his wife earns, and is it wrong for a wife to help in the upkeep of their home?" I couldn't answer that. In my naive mind, I assumed marriage was all about sharing and once you are pronounced man and wife, you have automatically become one person in different bodies. I can imagine his hurt to ask me. Wetin I know about marriage?

As sad as his story is, his case isn't the only one. Married women are known to be economical and prudent (a word learnt from my mum). They are great managers of the home. But what I tend to ask is, what do you do with all your money while your husband brings his? My friend told me that, not for once has his wife brought out a dime, even when he's really broke and don't have enough to drop for the house upkeep, she doesn't even shake. He actually confessed that what pushed him to telling me all these was that recently he renewed his house-rent and barely had anything on him, so no money to drop for feeding. He went to work, came back very hungry to an empty house. When he asked his wife for his dinner, she simply said no food cos he didn't drop money.

WT..!!!, he was so angry at her and asked what she does with her money, all she said was, the money is hers and not his. As at when he was discussing with me, they were sleeping in separate rooms. Kasala for house. Mehn, I didn't know what to say, all but "take it easy on her.".

Please, why should some ladies do this? This is not the first time I've heard or read about this. What's the worst that could happen when you share things together? He's your husband for crying out loud. On the other hand, what do I know, by the way I'm not married right? But I strongly believe that people should avoid simple things as this that could destroy your home. No be everything devil they cause.

Biko, what do you all think of this? Your thoughts, Let's chat friends. Do have a great week. Tomorrow is GUESTPOST TUESDAY, share that experience, that stuff bothering you that you need advice on. I'm expecting your mail. My email remains, Cheers.


  1. Biko the man should be totally responsible for food, house rent, and the kids school fees, while the woman can buy clothes and other petty things for the kids and herself. women are now the breadwinners in most families these days and its making lotta men very lazy.

    He will not drop money but he wants to eat?? For where them dey do that kind tin?? Unless he is broke at the moment sha.

    Pam, these men no need pity oo, cos dey will just goan look for one small girl outside that they will be bombarding the money on while you are at home forming Good Wifey. **clicks tongue. Lemme wait till am married sha.

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  2. Erm Pam me am not married too oo. So will just keep mute and read comments.

  3. The man should be responsible for the upkeep of the house, but there is no harm if the woman helps him out, but the men take advantage of the helping wife and sometimes relent in their duties throwing everything to the wife while they use their money to mess around

  4. Your friends wife is a stingy goat.what stops her from buying food in the house.remember this marriage and not boy friend or girlfriend relationship.we women are like help mate to the man,we are to compliment him,snd be is strength in his weakness. Some ladies are just ewu but they fit collect. I hate stingy people
    I derive joy in sharing sometimes I don't have to wait for hubby to give me money to do some certain things at home.

  5. i believe the wife should be an help for the man. Help that is SUITABLE when the need arises!! and yes! marriage is about sharing not just bodies but all of you including finances

    Are you single & searching? Or you are engaged?
    You need to read this on relationship now

  6. That woman is evil sha...She has a wrong orientation abt marriage...
    How can I allow my hubby come home with an empty stomach after d day's hussles and I deny him food cos he didn't drop before leavin???...That's wickedness!!!
    Moreover even if the man is stingy,u have to teach him with ur attitude...

    Once ur man is hardworking and provides for u and the kids den pls support him wen he's broke..stand by him and he'll love u more...

    I learnt a lot frm my sweet mum,she's the best wife,mentor,mummy in d world...Marriage is all abt sharing,sharing and more sharing...
    For the rest of ur life,u share ur time,gamete,money,affection,compassion,etc with that one man/ woman....Thats how it should be....


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