Tuesday, 14 April 2015

THE "Ex".

Hello Pamscribers, how una dey? This is me vexing with style. Today is supposed to be our Guest Post Tuesday but you know what, we have none. Biko nu, let's not stop this trend, it makes this blog more interesting. Let us keep it going. Send in you GUEST POSTS latest Monday evening please. Make me happy next week tuesday ejoo. Ghost readers, you aint excluded here, even if you don't comment (although I'll love you to), kindly send in guest post you hear. Thanks for una usual cooperation. God bless una. Ok, vexing over. Back to the post for today.

Many of us have had the privilege to either be hurt enough and walk away or strong enough to end a relationship and move on. Do we really move on? How long does it take to erase the memories of an ex?
Days, weeks, months? Heard a quote the other day and it made me smile, "be careful who you make memories with, those things last a lifetime". Part of these memories could be a place, mine was cos whenever I pass that scene, which was everyday, I broke down. And that really contributed to me not healing on time back then.

Do you use an eraser to clean all the "memories" of an ex? As traumatic and painful as the hurt, hate, deceit and distance will be, the memories or thoughts of the ex won't be gone in a jiffy. And boy oh boy, the next person will have a steep hurdle infront of him/her.

All the "good" associated with "ex" should be done and even exceeded. For example, if ex used to take you out on a date twice a week, the new guy must try as much as possible to either do that or beat that record. A benchmark will be set. We gals do a lot of comparison, I don't blame them, after all the times their hearts have been toyed with, played with, kicked and broken , gals are now wiser.

Men on the other hand are no saints or not guilty of the same crime. Once a gal agrees to date you, you pull the "this is what my ex liked doing that I don't like", did you tell her you don't like it prior to now before making reference and tagging.

A friend told me that while dating her ex, he didnt for one day give her cash or even mere gifts. His excuse was that he spent alot on his ex but the girl still dumped him flatly so he swore to never spend on any gal until she becomes his Mrs. So she should chill until he marries her, then will he spoil her with gifts. The gal simply looked at him in aww, so she should have to suffer for the sins of his ex? Wonderful.

Women hate that shit. Commmoooon guyz. Same way guys don't like women making comparisons about their ex's "sexual bravado or prowess". Eg, "hmmmmmm, my ex had a 13inch and really knew how to use it". Easy. Ladies, don't make them jealous of your ex. Egos as well as "eggplants" are deflated by this.

Guyz, you aint left out here either. What's it with "my ex was flexible, she could do all styles in the bedroom, or she cooks better, cleans the house, washes my clothes, blablabla". Say what? Do you want to turn me into your ex, why then did you leave her? Take note guys, ladies also hate that comparison.

Once you are in a new relationship, or healing from an "ex" syndrome, put a veil on the ex, start afresh. Stop the comparison,what ifs and whatnot's, give him/her a chance to learn. Or what do you think?


  1. You're right Pam. Comparisons aren't good 4 a relationship at all. I'm one of ur ghostreaders but was touched to comment 2day.

  2. hmm.....pams you nailed this, i once had an ex whom i took 2years to get over, there was this particular song we both liked,till now when i hear that song,my mind goes to him at once but you know sometimes you just have to let go and move on but that comparing shit, i hate it so i dn't do it andam grateful le boo does not do it too.past is past.


  3. Hmmmmmm..i once dated a widower wiv no kids..very young, cute guy...he was 33 wen I met him.he married @ 26,lost the wife @ 30..so approximately, I met him 3 years afta...
    At first I was sceptical about dating him buh wen he told me the painful story of losing his wife to cancer and the difficulty in. Having kids cos of fibroid an bla bla bla..i felt nuffin but pity for him...
    I started dating him a month after he asked me out "cos of sympathy,

    The first 4 months was hell,he kept comparing me to the late wife..

    "Baby Can u drive?...my late wife drives better.
    "Baby can u cook onugbu Anambra soup?..my late wife makes it so well

    "Baby,u get angry easily,..my late wife wasn't temperamental...

    Shuoooo,i can go on and on...

    Well,i left the relationship 'cos of genotype issues,dude was AS like me but kept hiding it for 2 years...
    It's well with him sha...lol

    I'd ve gone anon but no need cos am safe here..lmao


    1. Ewoo, bad market. Yes dearie, u are indeed safe here.

  4. I once had a boyfriend that said he can't buy me gifts cos of what his ex did...I didn't fancy the gifts really but common!

  5. I think guyz are more guilty of this, they can compare 4 Africa and it pisses me off. What's my biz with whoever you have dated in the past. Don't they get the we are all diff?

  6. You said it all,your ex is just an example of things that never happened. Let go and face the present


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