Sunday, 18 January 2015

GUEST POST: I'm being pressurized to give 'it' up.

Dear Pam,
My name is Stella(not real name). I'm a 24 year old graduate who lives and works in Lagos. I'm also a virgin. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, and from the onset i told him my stand about sex before marriage and he agreed.

Everything was going so well and all rosy until a few weeks ago. He started demanding for sex and it has increased to a point of becoming irritating. He turned from pleading for it to basically demanding for it in a rude manner as if it is his birth-right (he now acts as if he's possessed). Last week was the latest which lent credence to this writing. After his usual tirade of me saying No to him, he gave me an ultimatum, I should choose between him or my virginity.

I know that people have lost their regard/value for virginity in today's society, but I want to remain intact till my wedding night. I'm madly in love with this guy and don't want to loose him. I've tried begging him to be patient until our wedding night since he promises marriage but now he's like an aggressive lion. He isn't listening to me and of recent not picking my calls.

I keep thinking about what made him change all of a sudden from the wonderful man i used to know to the man he is now. Is sex a criteria for a happy relationship? Please what do i do, cos I'm really confused and my heart is aching. thanks.

*My dear, please don't allow anybody to pressurize you into going against your values cos you may end up hating yourself and regretting it at the end. Again, what's the guarantee that he won't leave you after tasting the cherry? How sure are you that you'll end up marrying him? Remember that men can say anything just to get in there. Love is simple, it doesn't want more than you can give. So think thoroughly before you make your decision. I wish you well.
Please, let us advice her. Cheers.


  1. Just pray about it. I agree with Pam, dnt let some1 push u to do wat u are against. be wise dear.

  2. you are still young. relax

  3. relax, time is still on your side.

  4. Dear Poster, you have to be wise here. Do not be pushed to act against your will. Pls visit my blog -

  5. Girl, you don't need to pray about it. Act. Quit the relationship. God isn't in support of pre-marital sex and He doesn't change his ways.

    Sorry to say, but your boyfriend isn't trustworthy (he reneged on your requests and agreement) and a demagogue (he preys on the fact that you care for him for his owns selfish ambition). Most likely, he'd quit the relationship later if you give in to his sex demands.

    Quit the relationship, he ain't worth the stress. You can always find someone better who would also value and respect your requests. Keep up the virginity stance, it's highly commendable in times like these


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