A beautiful afternoon to thee. Hoping you all are kicking real good. Well, this story below is from my mailbox, hope you find it funny as I did. Enjoy.
Hi Pammie
I am sharing this story so that others can share their own so we can all laugh. When we embarrass ourselves its best for us to laugh at ourselves.
Share my story on your blog so we can laugh.
I have shared this story once but I thought I should share it again. My name is Sandra. I had an embarrassing incident due to running stomach aka purging.
God show me pepper no be small. I too dey form fine babe all the time. I always dey like to dey wear tight skirt and trouser. I like to tease guys as well.
Well on Thursday I was humbled. I chop sweet beans my mama cook last week. I come go work on Thursday. Remember I too dey form fine babe I wear tight skirt today to show off my nyash. All was well when I went to work but on my way back from work I just noticed some rumbling and discomfort in my tummy.
I tried to ignore it but the rumbling got worse. I dey inside staff bus at the time but I just dey sweat. I still dey do fine babe but the purging was getting worse and worse. I couldn't ignore it anymore and had to come down from the bus and flag down an okada to quickly take me back to my place because I knew that if I no reach house soon I go shit for body. The shit be like say na the runny time cos I found it really hard to hold on. Plus na white tight skirt I wear that day. I did not dare mess.
I just dey pray to God make I no embarrass myself for public.
Men I f**ked up big time. I first of all shit small ontop the bike because I just couldn't hold it in again. As I was trying to pay the bike man I pooed again in my white panties. I tried to form like nothing was happening. As I was walking to my gate I released another wave of the soft poo. Infact I was pooing all the way to my gate and my front door. See embarrassment, the bike man was just looking at me. Remember it was a white tight skirt I wore.
Before I reached my toilet I don shit for body finish. Men I doubledare anybody to hold that kind runny shit, no hope.
I was humbled on that day. Fine babe wey shit for pant on top okada. I have since learned not to play with beans again.
Please everyone share your shitty stories lets all laugh.
Thank you.
*Hahahahaha, I just can't stop laughing. Fine babe, shitty pant. Lol. Imagine your crush seeing you in that situation. Hahaha. I'll share mine in d comment section.
I have soo many Shitty experiences, but I'll just share one. OK, here's mine.
ReplyDeleteAlmost everything I eat these days purges me, I don't know why. So a day to when I was to come back to Lagos from calabar, I ate one kain correct afang soup, and then took Flagyl to avoid purging.
In the bus back to Lagos, the deed happened. We weren't even close to river Niger, and my tummy began to turn, I was sweating in a full AC bus. Dear Lord, I was in trouble. We had a mean driver who wouldn't listen to anybody, so I began to pray serious prayer oh. Hmmmm, I serve a living God, lol. Immediately the driver stopped to get fuel, I was the only one who jumped out of the bus while other passengers stared, I ran to the toilet. What happened there was better witnessed than imagined.
The bus almost left me oo, if not for the passengers that begged on my behalf and asked me to hurry up. The devilish shit didn't want to finish oh, it just kept pouring out. Nawa. I finally conquered it though, and entered the bus. I began to imagine what would have happened to me if the driver hadn't stopped. The devil is a liar.
Hahahahahaha, Pam no kill person o "the devil is a liar". I can truly relate. Unfortunately for me the devilish shit dealt with and humbled me last Thursday. Even though I tried to hold the thing lol. But its important we laugh at these things and not take ourselves too seriously.
DeleteGood thing it wasn't in the bus. Greetings!
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha....a similar thing happened to me while traveling to the East from Lag. The bus I boarded had already zoomed off; if not for the intervention of my co-passengers who told me how they pleaded with the driver to stop for me, I would have paid another T/fare to my destination. It's really an embarrassing situation.
ReplyDeletealabekee.blogspot.com
My own shitty experience is something I cannot forget in a hurry. This happened during my youth service days. I was in a luxurious bus traveling from Lagos to Maiduguri when I started having a rumbling stomach,the person that sat beside me could see how uncomfortable I was.
ReplyDeleteImmediately,I stood up and went to meet the driver, I told him I needed to ease myself, he saw the way I was sweating profusely, he said I wld have to hold on a little in order to look for a suitable place to stop.
Meanwhile,the passenger that sat next to me had alighted at Potiskum(Yobe state)and it was late already like 7pm,when I saw how the driver was dulling me,I dashed back to my seat,brought out a nylon,squatted on the chair and did it there ooo
Hahahahhahaha. Jummy, seriously? Lol
ReplyDeleteLol Serious laugh
DeleteJummy it's a lie ooo, tell me you ain't sharing my story
ReplyDeleteBut biko what's with this shitty tingy on blogs? You people should warn yaself ooooo
When I was serving in maiduguri, I was always flying but at a point I was like how can I be flying always? What will I now say about the road all through my service year? Abeg make me sef enter overnight bus jor like my colleague Tosin. That was how I entered those long buses ooo though am not sure if it's young shall grow. I cautioned myself aspa food and all these unnecessary buyings cos I know it might start acting funny on me.
Lo and behold when it was like 1am, that was how this shitty tingy started ooo, come see sweat upon the breeze. I now told tosin so she was like what will I do?i said I dunno oooo as I see say I no fit keep am naso I bend down for my seat, comot my sokoto then I placed nylon on the floor of the bus, the pple around us were asleep so I had to open the window for plenty breeze to blow away the smell OMG Ahahahha I can't believe am saying this...My friend kept covering her nose but that was not my biz. I sha shit am finish then I was relieved. Then I kept asking myself, why dint you fly jejely????i never tried that again....
Babes, e be like say Maiduguri do is strong thing ooo . Onigbe sisan hehehehehe...ayama
Deletelolz.... i have never had a shitty experience
ReplyDeleteif we used to divorce because we were unhappy, today we divorce because we could be happier. And if divorce carried all the shame, today, choosing to stay when you can leave is the new shame.read
RETHINKING INFIDELITY
@PAM: What an experience for the fine girl...chei beans fit humble anybody reach presidents...geez...I've had so many shitty experiences can't keep track of them thanks to Omega beans or "ewa goyin"*lmao*lol*God help us all eating it...
ReplyDeletehttp://dm3drev-studeos.blogspot.in/2015/05/7-simple-tips-on-caring-for-your-laptop.html
U go fear shitty experience nah... very funny. I don't have experience ooo
ReplyDeleteckjacob.blogspot.com
I don't have shitty Story. I hardly poo. I will say it was when I got married I poo 2ce in a week.no matter the veggies I eat it won't come.
ReplyDeleteThe only shitty experience I have when when I was 9 and it happened at home, then we went to stay with granny living in all this face me I slap you house. Someone was using the toilet, I knocked and knocked the person didnot answer. Omo na so I pooed in my pant. I thought my granny would beat me but she did not.
Bolateethole.blogspot.com
My own was in secondary school, I was in jss 2 and it was a federal school. I had been told a lot about different things that walk the grounds at night so the worse thing that could happen to anyone was been pressed in d midnight.... I actually made effort to make it out side, this time I was no longer scared because my dorm captain is worse than the devil when she is angry, my only obstacle was now the three locks used in bolting d door, I had opened two successful, I was on the last bolt when I lost all grip on my self control. I reach toward my dorm captain's bathing bowl and did the deed inside. When she found out the next day I just told her it's a spiritual battle I have been dealing with for a long time. A deliverance service was conducted on my behalf.
ReplyDeleteDIY alert
hahahahaahaha.
Delete