Keep holding on.

I just have this strong feeling to throw a word of encouragement to someone out there. Yes, this world is really not a bed of roses like the Nollywood movies make us believe. Its filled with so much thorns that you kinda wonder "when will this all end?" 

Let's talk the 'Talk'.

I hear and read about how couples have a hard time satisfying themselves in the "bedroom". "My husband is a one minute guy", "He doesn't initiate it", "she's too rigid, always complains she's tired, I'm really tempted to cheat". The list is quite long but to every problem there's a solution, abii? Biko nu, permit me to be a little blunt, abeg don't crucify me. Lol.

Must the man always be the one to initiate sex? Speak up woman, stop dying in silence. When it 'hungries' you, tap him, its your right. Why are you married then? Its official now, and stop playing the shy woman, be bold to tell your hubby to do the needful. In marriage and the society we live in, most women hide in the shadows for fear of being called 'cheap or cajoled' when it comes to initiating their matrimonial duties. So even when "konji" is worrying them, they'll prefer to wait for "oga" to start it, if he doesn't start den everyone will go to sleep. For why nah?

Food for thought.

"I want a Tall, dark, handsome, pretty, hardworking, caring kinda person, rich, romantic, blablabla guy/lady and most especially, he/she has to be God-fearing". These are some the attributes we tend to use to describe our supposed spouse (yours truly included) but the question is, who is a God-fearing person? Does going to church every Sunday and midweeks services make me God-fearing? On the other hand, not going to church, does it make me less God-fearing?

If you Love me, Let me know.

The first time I heard the word "secret admirer", I fell in love with the word. It sounded "nice" (for lack of a better word to use). I love ice cream, am I a secret admirer? Definitely no. I profess my love for the cold, sweet, yummy, climax-like feeling that comes with a spoonful of my favorite flavor. Oops, sorry, where was I? Ohh.

Most times, we see someone and we become lovestruck with the person. Either on the screen or near and around us. But, due to either fear of rejection, being laughed at or outright cowardice, we bottle our feelings and then act like its all well. But in fact, we are dying in silence. Most, if not all of us had crushes while growing up. Did our crush ever get to know how we stayed awake , daydreaming and fantasizing about him/her?

Will you tell???

For every relationship to work, I believe there must be love, a level of compatibility and trust. The old long adage of "kissing a lot of ugly toads till you finally meet prince-charming" would be applicable here. Relationships in this case are identical. A lady may date a lot of men till she finally settles down and gets married, same is applicable to the men.

Now, is it necessary for my hubby to know of my past relationships? Would telling your current boyfriend about your exes jeopardice your relationship? Same question goes to the men too. Yes, men tend to exaggerate amongst themselves who they have bedded (helps in their egoism I guess), women lie and keep the numbers down to seem a prude to men. With their kind, it evokes gasps and wows.

The RANTS of Me.

The time is 1.39am, and I'm yet to shut my eyes. O yea sleep, where art thou? This body needs the rest for what awaits it today. Its Monday morning, what am I expecting when I leave the house?

The traffic, the angry conductors calling forth passengers, the fumes from the buses on an already jam-packed road, people walking on the road fighting to be awake, others having the remainder of their precious sleep in the bus. Hmmm, flashing back to few days ago, an angry passenger cried out "I got home by 11pm last night cos of traffic, slept in the heat all thanks to PHCN, and here I am on the road again. All these things we do to make ends meet, at the end of the day we work like elephants and eat like ants". I could feel the pain in his voice alone. Ohh, What a life.

Its 1.48am, and I'm still staring at my ceiling in the dark, having showered close to six times only this night, all thanks to PHCN. I can't afford to run my "I pass my neighbor generator" all through the night cos it consumes fuel not water and my stipends cant afford that. We leave in a society whereby electricity has become a luxury. A place whereby when there is electricity for 8hrs in a day, we know that the light bills will soon get to our doorstep, where when we see light we say "aah, wetin happen? Nepa dey give light now ooo". Imagine the irony. Isn't that supposed to be kinda our right? Aint we supposed to be entitled to 24hrs light? Aint we called the Giants of Africa? Aint we rich enough to enjoy all the luxuries, richer than some other countries out there?

Lets talk about Football.

Few days ago, I was watching some guys arguing heatedly about football, one of them even tried to throw a punch at the other because of this. I just stared at them in disbelieve even as I wondered what the craze was all about.Years ago, I had a friend who was a football crazed fanatic. He so much loved his football club that if his club lost, he would not eat, be depressed and totally be irritant. I will not disclose the English club (oops) did I say English? Lol. 

I remember few years ago, Nigeria was playing with Argentina on the final stage, the match was so tensed that I almost developed a heart attack, Nigeria lost the match though while I almost died. Since then, I stopped holding football so dearly biko.

Women and "sizes".

Hmmmm, I feel it will be well balanced and imperative that I be objective. Few days ago, we talked about guys and lookery of boobs and ass, today, its the misconception of girls and "sizes". Women have over the years been avid fans to the theory that "big is better". From big cars, houses, earings, bank accounts, etc. Women,when it comes to relationship and sex, have been drawn towards the "big size". Here, big refers to the male genitalia; you can call it whatever you want, my hand no dey oo(hahahaa).

Hit ME not!!!

Few weeks ago, Tope's friend Ada, got engaged to "the love of her life". This is supposed to be good news right? Yes, It should be, but the hiccup here is that, Ada is engaged to a guy that almost beat her to death last year. She has been in an abusive relationship for 3 years, and the guy always beats her at will, any little provocation, there goes the hiting. When asked why she is still with the guy that abuses her, she said that she doesn't have the strenght to start up a new relationship and she loves him, and once again he promised to change (is he Apc?), also "the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know". Biko nu, how and when does a devil become better than an angel? If you know the way I detest that statement.

What's with guys and BOOBS??

As ladies, we have been taunted, abused, booed, jeered with catcalls and outright hand signals. Women have been abused physically, emotionally and mentally. The female gender has for centuries been the brunt of the male. Some abuse are not only physical, but with innuendos and mere stares. Na office own dey pain me pass, a lady will walk pass and men will not only look, but stare and ogle, attimes even lost in d lookery, nawaoo.

Not only in Naija that men are fond of staring at a girl's breast, it happens everywhere too. A well endowed lady walked past me one day and I overheard some guys saying how "blessed " she was; the way she eyed them, they had no choice but to respect their old age. Before nko, what where they expecting?  As if she was supposed to say "Thank you"??? (rolls eyes).

Childhood dreams.

As a child, when asked on what profession I would love to become when I'm grown up, the only thought on my mind was being a lawyer. Seeing them clad in their white and black, heads held high, eloquent speech. I revered them like gods. Ohhh! Lawyers, in my eyes made other professions and occupations look benign and small.

I liked doctors, but I had and still have a morbid fear of blood that's not mine, and I hate drugs, pills, tablets, syringes, the antiseptic smell of hospitals gives me goose bumps, so, being a doctor was out of it.

How dictating can you be in your relationship?

First of all, I want to say a HUGE thank you to all my friends and for making my birthday the best. Didn't know I was soo loved. Thank you for the gifts, calls, messages, PM's, DP's, shout outs and all, May God continually bless and reward you all, Amen.

A Couple of days ago, I had the pleasure of being amongst some friends. A male friend in our midst was telling us how down spirral his love life had gone (Your ears are all perked up abii, mine was too. lol). He was dating a georgous lady, same tribe(won't tell you which) lol. Both are working, so financially they won't be called poor. The girlfriend had a knack of telling the guy what to do and what not to do. How long to spend at a party, what to wear, how to eat, how much to spend et al, and he put up with all these cos he really loved her, and despite the oppositions he got from his friends and even the girls brothers, he kept on dating her.

Ladies, men as much as they are kids and big babies (sorry guys), they hate being treated as one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LA MOI..

Today the 16th of February is a very special day to me, I am plus one today, Yippyy (dancing skelewu). Happy birthday to me, wishing myself long life and prosperity and may all my heart desires come to fulfillment . Amen.

I'm not where I want to be yet but I'm certainly not where I was before. Its all by God's grace and I know that since He has brought be thus far, I'm sure He will see me through. 

CHILD favoritism.

Hello my lovelies, hope you all had a swell time yesterday? For those still suffering from valentine hangover, I say kpele. #clears throat. I had a lovely,splendid val day (at home). How did your day go? Did you receive the gift you always wanted? Go to that place you yearned for? Hang out with friends you love the most? If you didn't, today is here to do those, cos it necessary must not be on a Val's day, Love should be celebrated everyday.

Today, am writing on parenthood and child favoritism.

Growing up in our various homes, we have either been on one side of the stick or the other. Our parents had unknowingly shown favoritism towards one as against another. Often attimes, it happens subtly. From open rebuke and reprimanding one, while letting another go , both from the same crime. Some of us must have spent countless nights asking if truly our parents were really our parents; Love, affection, understanding, these were not given equally. 

Happy Valentines Day Dearies.

I had this well constructed letter that I wanted to write to INEC, wanted to vent all my anger towards them cos of the election fixed on valentines day, but I guess the spirit of this season entered their heads which made them postpone it.

LOL at this pics.

This picture is in no way related to today's post, I just find it so hilarious and i felt you'll like it too. So, still in the spirit of the season, I have something else to share with you all.

Last year, I was so single and indoor all through valentines day, thanks to the babe my last single male friend grabbed 2 weeks before Val. Mtchwww. 

Since both of us were boyfriendless and girlfriendless, we decided to hang out together to forget our singlehood since our other friends were with their La boo's. Hmmm, I was so trilled that I won't be spending Val's day alone again cos one way or another I happen to find myself single on Val's day, Lolz.

Anywayz,  a month to Val's day I began to chase away all the flies try to perch unto him, no one dares to ruin my Val's day for me, even if Agbani Darego comes I'll tell her to keep off until after feb14th. The plan seem to work until  2 weeks to Val's day.

My SS2 crush.

Ok, it's that time of the year again called valentine's day. That season when lovers enjoy a romantic time-out together, candle-light dinner, exchange of gifts and all. Thank God that this years vals day falls on the weekend, so enough flexing. Please oo, you all should also remember the less priviledge too, show them love biko, they also deserve to be loved too. So, having said this, I'll like to share something interesting with you all today.

Back in my SS2 days, a new boy was given admission into my school and mehn he was a mathematics guru/wizard. Ikechi (not real name) was the male version of beauty with brains. O boy, I glued to him oo cos I needed to tap into that maths anointing, didn't plan on developing a crush on him but along the line it happened (you can't joke with matters of the heart. Lolz).

Let's talk about scammers 2.

Ok, I just have to continue this discussion. Did you all see Chinco bee's experience? I'm still in shock, I tell you the truth. That guy really needs to be caught and duly punished for his crimes. Anywayz, let me feed you with another experience of mine, this also happened last year.

Met this guy in one of those sites, then we migrated to facebook and continued the chat there. He told me that he was a widower and that his wife died in that Dana air crash (for a truth people were saying RIP to his wife's pics on facebook, but I don't know if she really died in dat plane crash). He went ahead to say he stays in London, likes me and would love to marry me and blablabla. He also wanted to buy wears and shoes for me and asked for my sizes which I sent too, still playing along.

Let's talk about Scammers.

Sometime last year, a friend introduced me to a site where I can meet and chat up with differnt people, so out of boredom I did and I received so many friend requests as fine gal wey I be. Lolz. Just few days into the site, a particular guy became interested in me and kept bugging me about his love for me and blablabla. He then told me he stays in London and will love to buy few things and send them to me here in Nigeria. I just smiled and decided to play along shaa, he then asked me my sizes in wears, shoes and all, hmm, I sent them.

The next day, he sent me a chat that he has sent two boxes and a carton filled with clothes, shoes, bags, human-hairs, laptops, Iphones, and so many more. He then gave me the tracking number, the phone number and name of the shipping company in Abuja. I asked him why he couldn't send it to Lagos at once, he said there was none coming to Lagos except Abuja, PH and Calabar. All these while I was laughing my head off and had already informed my friend that introduced me to the site what was going on.

Love and Infatuation.

Love and infatuation, words commonly and often used interchangeably, but mean different things. A famous quote that "love makes a mockery of all men" is the closest to the truth. There isn't a difference between a fool and a wise man when both are in love. See life? Love makes people mugus, renders us delusional. It also makes us make a complete public mockery of our own self. And yet, given a choice, we'd gladly fall in love every single time, over and over again. When in love, you are more or less commited to the other person.

Everything goes in the name of love, but does this also apply in the even of an infatuation? Certainly not, because infatuation simply happens to be a poor, lame cousin of love, unworthy of state of mind.

Guest Post: Caught in da act.

Hello Pam, abeg chop knuckle wella. I get tatafo gist wey just land for my lodge lastnight. Heheehe! One girl for my lodge na correct player; you as a guy go think say you be player until you jam this babe. My dear, she go beat you hands down, she be beta runs girl, I throway salute for her sef. Anywayz, e get one broz wey she no dey use play shaa. Both of them love themselves no be small. Did I forget to mention that she's also runsing the landlord's son anytime he comes back from london? Lolz.

Anywayz, landlord's son landed recently come spoil Kemi scatter, him paint the town red with her shaa, come scatter her with gifts finish, me sef I use style jealous oo. All these things na behind the back of her main guy 'Okoro'. You knw that adage 'everyday na for the thief, one day na for the owner', come catch Kemi. She and landlord pikin don schedule to go out with landlord pikin friends, omo, Kemi fine yesterday nite oo, but before she fit enter landlord car, main guy 'Okoro' come show.

HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY.

I'm an anniversary freak, lolz. When something good happens me, I make it a point of duty to celebrate it. I once dated a guy who I forced into celebrating our anniversary every month, hehehe, he didn't like it initially, but with time he loved it. So make una no vex oo cos na so e go be for here too, Lolz.

So my darlins, it's Pammie's crib one month anniversary (1 month only? Seems like 1 year. Lolz). Hmm, I must confess its been a long thing, hasn't been easy at all. You needed to see me writing the first post, all the English disappeared, I slept with the paper and pen still in my hand, Lolz.

Sex Education and it's misconceptions.

Looking at the neighbors children playing around my compound so cheerfully yesterday evening, i  immediately took notice that one of the girl's was deliberately trying to avoid the only boy in their group, that got me curious but before i could even fathom that, I overheard the girl tell d boy "don't touch me, my mummy said if a boy touches me I'll get pregnant". WHAT? Do parents still say that?

I remember growing up too, and my mum will say that to me(sorry mum. Lol), but we all know that it wasn't true at all, though later before I got admission into the higher institution, she sat me down and gave me the most annoying sex talk ever (I so hated sex pep talks and always found a way to dodge those sessions but believe me, i learnt alot).

Guest Post: Tatafo levelz.

Dear Pam, you are doing a wonderful job here, keep it up, I sometimes comment with anonymous though. You know what, i gat tatafo gist for you cos i saw the advert here a few days ago, abeg, i go knack am for pidgin, so here goes:
Na so I dey waka for my street dey mind my business na im I see people gather for one doctor house dey shout 'abeg no kill am oo'. Immediately, my ear antenna rise, omoh see tatafo gist for pammie's crib oo. I waka go near, hmmm, come see as people dey beat this elderly man wey get two wives and plenty children, and close to him na one young girl wey get belle wey dey cry. Na im I come ask one guy wey dey beside me wetin dey happen.

I Am Beautiful!

Growing up I kept wondering why I was constantly yabbed in high school especially by the class bully thomas (not real name). All I hear was, 'Pam you are too fat', 'Pam you have very big lips'. I got so angry and didn't like myself much. I kept on wondering why my elder sis was slim, with the most sexy nose and lips, infact the perfect body; my dream body.

I hated it wen people refer to me as the elder one even though my sis was three years older than me. I almost started getting jealous of her.

Women: Victims of a childless marriage.

A married lady in my neighborhood just happens to be seen around a lot lately in her father's house, so i just assumed she just wants to keep her mum company for sometime before she goes back to her husband's house cos her dad died a month ago. So just yesterday, my tatafo neighbor who happens to be the lady's friend gave me a shocking news; the lady has been sent parking out of her matrimonial home cos she hasn't given birth, and guess what, the marriage is only two years old. I was indeed moved to tears and so heartbroken.

When did man start playing God in terms of having children? Just two years of marriage and everything was over. My neighbor said the lady was crying profusely while showing her all the chats shared between she and the husband, according to her, it was so bad. Hey, i know nothing about marriage but, two years? Kai, my heart bleeds. I thought marriage worth's more than just child-bearing?

Team snoop or not.

Hehehe, I'm finally gonna handle this issue once and forever, (Lolz),cos a lot of people will like to know if snooping is a good or bad thing. My own definition of snoop is the act of trying to uncover what's been covered without the owner's permission. Hehhehehe.

Now, some people argue that snooping is good and it has helped them from making regrettable decisions, while the other half said it's bad and also, an invasion of privacy.

I believe that people have their different reasons for snooping (they are countless) .  Different people including male and female have confided in me on the heartbreaking outcome of their snooping but though what they found out was painful, they never regretted it; how they trusted their spouse but after snooping they felt disappointed, betrayed and less trust in him/her.