Going back in time.

Watched some kids watching cartoon few days ago, and as i looked on, i had a mental flashback of myself as a child. The sand play, rain bath (awww, i miss that so much, wish i can still bath in the rain), cooking classes with peer (used tomato can as pot), the hide and seek game, and so much more, winks.

In a way, those games moulded us to being who we are now, and the lessons learned then remain inbedded in me till date. I loved watching cartoons and most times faked sickness so they i wont attend aunty Edy's lesson which happens to fall at the same time they air cartoons (Lolz). Power-rangers, superted, tales by moon-light and so many more brings a smile to my face just remembering them.

Playing the F.W.B

Okk, I happen to be meeting different kinds of people lately in the bus. So, that's how I was minding my business oo in d bus on my way home yesterday then this bros siting close to me started toasting me. Chai God, why must it be only bus toasters, why can't a broz in d latest car in town stop me and den happily ever after follows? (Lolz). All these nollywood movies can deceive, they make us think life is all awesome and rosy while its not, mtchww (rolls eyes).

Cry for Help!

Today's post is going to be really short,so here goes: My friend really needs an urgent advice, please I need you all to help her out. She came crying to me few days ago about how her Mr Right changed to Mr Left. She was so inlove with this guy to a fault, but one thing led to another and they broke up (Don't want to go into details). Now she hurts so much for loosing him but the problem is that the guy has refused to pay her the 200k being owed. His words "I'll pay you when I want to pay you, so stop disturbing me!". She has sent several text and called countless times but the guy isn't responding positively and of recent has started threatening her. So dear friends, she needs advice on how to get her money back without involving the police. Biko let's kindly help her. Cheers.

This heat eeh; diaris God oo.

 Hmmm, I can murmur for africa. Just last week or so I was begging God to take away the cold cos its effect on me was killing, but here I am now begging God to bring back the cold cos this heat eeh no be small thingoo.

Its amazing how we humans don't know what we have until we loose it, mind you this is also applicable to our relationships and day to day life.

Dear Married People...

Looking at the high rate of divorce cases in the world especially now in Nigeria, I begin to ask, what's the fate of we single ones? What hope do we single ones have?  I and a lot of single ones out there begin to ask if marriage is really worth the try?

Dear married people, I know that there are ups and downs when it comes to marriage but the question is, what extra efforts did you take/have u taken to make it work?

Sometimes I wonder how our parents worked the magic in their days. My mum says patience, perseverance and most especially God's grace. It really isn't easy for two grown-ups to leave together without hiccups no matter how lovestruck they are, even siblings fight.

When trust dies...

Yes that's right. That's why today is going to be all about questions that need answers. Please somebody tell me, how do you trust someone who has lost the right to be trusted again? How do you bypass all those lies, betrayals and whatnots? How do you turn a blind eye to all the things your partner has done so that you can trust him/her again? Is there a limit to trust?

There are so many people with trust issues cos of one thing or the other that had happened to them. They've lost trust in people, even if you come as Jesus Christ and tell them who you are, they wont believe you until you show them the hole in your palm and other injuries you sustained, even after all the prove some may still doubt.

That horrorful Kiss.

Hehehehehe, I need to laugh first before I start this gist. I was watching a movie yesternite and there was a bad kiss incident in it, which prompted me into writing this piece.

Anywayz, my experience which unfortunately happened to be my first kiss deserves an award. So here goes:
My aunt was getting married and during the preparations a cousin of hers came visiting and immediately I set my eyes on him, the whole butterflies in my village came dancing skelewu inside my stomach. Infact, while staring, I didn't know when the plate I was carrying fell off my hand. I lost control of myself, also there was this slow motion that normally happens in Nollywood movies where everything will just become still. Believe me, it happened in real life (Lol).

Excuse me, Can i have my nose back please?

I was in a bus going back home yesterday and sitting close to me was this really good-looking guy. I'm sure from afar i would have tripped for this guy, but the reverse was the case cos his body odour can make you give your life to Christ. OMG, i literally died, went to heaven and back sitting close to this guy in that horrorful two hours traffic (guy man fall my hand big time.) On a normal day i would have endured being stuck in traffic, by the way its a normal thing in Lagos, but this time around, i couldnt, thanks to dear broz.

Sighting a pretty gal like me (hehehehe, i fine small shaa. If i don't praise myself, who will?), he tried engaging in a conversation to while away time but i was not having any of it. I was just behaving like a dumb person cos i dare not open my mouth in response or even look his way. I kept on struggling for fresh air, with my nose outside the window only to inhale car-pollutions too (Father save me).

Love, don't hate.

There is indeed a thin line between Love and Hate. When someone is in-love, you seem to be flying without wings. So many butter-flies in your tommy especially when you both are together. But the reverse is the case when you eventually find yourself in-hate with that same person. You seem to forget all those beautiful things you both shared together, those wonderful moments, those butterflies. The sight of that wonderful fellow you couldn't wait to see/be with before, begins to disgust you.

To some, that's the perfect time for revenge. I've not been in that situation before, and I pray not to be cos it's not worth my precious time and energy.

GUEST POST: I'm not your CBN.

Dear Pam,
Loved your write-up for yesterday, really nice. So, the reason I'm writing this is for you to tell the ladies to stop seeing the male-folks as their bank accounts.

You ladies aint loyal at all. Do you want to run us dry before our time? You'll demand for money to buy the whole africa, if not the whole world. Brazilian hair, Japanese hair, Chinko hair, Iphone 6, BB z10, shopping every 2 weeks, undies, and even common sanitary pad. Why? Is central bank or world bank written on our fore-heads? The worst part is if you dare not meet up, then you'll be termed not caring, and they will leave you for the guy that can cater for all their needs (e.g. My ex-girlfriend). Why???

When NO really means NO.

There has been this trending issue going on with men these days. I happen to know some of these things because of the male friends i have and the uncountable experiences I've got too.

Now, what angers me is this idea that they have about women. They seem to misinterpret our 'NO' for 'YES'.  I quote "when a woman says NO, don't mind her, all na effizy, she means YES." (say what?) I wonder who must have come up with such an ugly idea.

Are sex boosters really necessary?

Today, almost everywhere you u go to, there are constant sign post, jingles that greet you with drugs, drinks, herbs and whatnots, all advertising the best way to "perform" in bed. Hmm, nawaoo.

While strolling home yesterday, i was abruptly cornered by this aboki guy who was trying his best to convince me to purchase a sex-booster for my "oga" so that he'll satisfy me well. Despite me telling him that i was "ogaless", he insisted I buy for my dad or even myself (does he want to kill my dad for me?)

These people try to convince us that some drugs can make a man go from "one round to a hundred", or go from "a one minute guy to a two hours guy". Chai, this aboki people no go kill us oo (na we girls una wan wound?)

There was this male friend of mine that recounted his experience to me. He was trying to impress a girl, which he did after taking one of these drugs.

GUEST POST: I'm being pressurized to give 'it' up.

Dear Pam,
My name is Stella(not real name). I'm a 24 year old graduate who lives and works in Lagos. I'm also a virgin. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, and from the onset i told him my stand about sex before marriage and he agreed.

Everything was going so well and all rosy until a few weeks ago. He started demanding for sex and it has increased to a point of becoming irritating. He turned from pleading for it to basically demanding for it in a rude manner as if it is his birth-right (he now acts as if he's possessed). Last week was the latest which lent credence to this writing. After his usual tirade of me saying No to him, he gave me an ultimatum, I should choose between him or my virginity.

MY WORST DATE EXPERIENCE.

Some of us can't recall our first date. Be it memorable, disastrous, pathetic or romantic. As for me, I don’t need to think too hard to recall my first date.

This happened years back, when I was still in the higher institution, was barely a newbie then. Obi was a very nice guy, and prior to the date very polite gentleman.

On the said day, he came to pick me up and we left together with the butterflies in my tummy. We arrived at the most tushed restaurant I've ever seen, and as we stepped into the place my eyes popped out of it's socket and I mentally calculated the amount of money that will be spent there (would cook a correct pot of soup with enough change sef). No blame me oo, na student mentality be that especially when levels no dey at all.

APC vs PDP: Who deserves the crown?

My lovelies, I'm really sorry for not posting anything yesterday. Hmm, my phone and MTN network showed me pepper yesterday (I'm sure some of you have the experience of typing severally only for the document to disappear instead of publishing. Well, that was part of my problem yesterday. #shakes head). It is well with my soul ooo. I'm trying again today and I'm seriously using fire prayer on it. It must work oo(Lol).

Back to the subject matter. I've tried ignoring dis 4 a long time but I don't think I can anymore. Anywhere I go, Pdp dis, Apc that. In the bus, market, street, office, church, everywhere. How long will I have to endure this torture biko?. Whenever it comes to politics in Nigeria, I simply block everything that's happening around me, then pretend I'm Cinderella in the palace!

Some people argue that Jonathan hasn't performed well so he should go, some say he has so he should stay, others agree that he hasn't performed well but he should be allowed to repeat so he'll provide us with two million jobs, give us better roads and stable electricity like oyibo man's land. A lot on the other hand wants Apc to rule, giving instances of what Buhari had done in d past and what he can still do when voted in as President. How he'll give us stable light also, provide millions of jobs, send corruption parking including stealing.

Biko, this election should just come so we'll all get it over with. The sooner this happens, the better for us all cos e don they turn fight everywhere. Imagine, some of my friends are now part-time enemies because of APC and PDP. I had to dive under the table like jet lee to avoid the items thrown at each other landing into my eyes during one of their arguments (abeg see me oo).

I'm not political, never loved politics, never will. May change my views later cos I'm seriously thinking of contesting in 2019 though (who knows, I might be the first female president in Naija. Hehehe. Don't forget to vote me in. Lol). My own take is that, anybody God has ordained for that position should go there and perform. Let there be a better Nigeria for a change. Pdp-power, Apc-change. Oya, who the cap fits should wear it well.

People, go out and vote, cast your vote for a better government. As for me, I'll be watching you on the TV as I eat my guguru and groundnut and sipping my zobo (cos every effort to get my voters card has proved abortive). I'm out of this matter, cos unlike Wizkid, I won't die ontop of dis matter.

FRIENDSHIP.

"Friendship is a holy tie made more holy by adversary"(anonymous).
Have any of you noticed that as we get older our circle of friends get smaller? Far back in the nursary/primary school years, anyone that was friendly to us was termed 'a friend'. I had lots of friends then. Fast-forward to my secondary school years, there was so much competition so i was really mindful of who to term 'my friend'.
My friends in the university days was close to nothing cos i had evolved and was aware of who i was and what i really desired in a true friendship. Those fake grins and laughter mattered not to me anymore. I basically was a one-man squared. I tried having friends though, but the female ones came with their own drama, so i was stuck with just reading mates.
Friendship is like a seed, watered with kindness, even as you watch it grow. Some friendship starts off at the most unusual circumstances like in bars, during crisis, disputes and even in lack and want.
Some are made from birth, like that of David and Jonathan. Others are born out of necessity, like the ones we make in the work place and in school. While some are born out of common goals like politics, football, etc, and despite their differences in opinions and thoughts, they still become friends.
Friendship cuts across ethnicity, tribe, skin color and race. It unites. Friendship is giving, helping and sharing. It is the hug when you need it most, the smile flashed when you are down, the letter, text, ping, just when you needed it. Friendship is us.
The popular phrase 'show me your friend and i will tell you who you are' is not far from the truth. Our choice of friends can make or mar us, so we should be mindful of the kind of friends we keep.
Honestly, i feel more comfortable with my male friends because they come with less drama, but there are lots of ladies out there that can really make good friends. Also, there comes a time in a ladies life whereby she needs female friends in her life, that time has come in mine.
So, my application for female friends is still open. Please, if you are interested to be my friend, kindly apply biko, cos I'm bored and all my male friends are either married or have girlfriends (lol).
Thanks as i await all your applications (winks). Cheers.

THANK YOU: From ME to YOU.

 

“All glory comes from daring to begin.”- Graham Bell.

Over the past couple of days, I have been over-whelmed by the numerous comments and viewership. I must confess, it was beyond my expectation. So without mincing words, my humble self says ‘THANK YOU All’. 

 This blog had been an incubation in my heart before its birth, and Thank God, Pammie’s crib is a week old today (Yippy). Like the proverbial saying ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with a step’, I took this step and I’m still taking it daily.

I know that this blog may not have totally met some of your expectations, but please bear with me, I’m still trying and I know with time it will be better.

 You may have noticed a few grammatical errors and a little misuse of words (my apologies), those are mine and mine alone. Abeg, no be English I study for school nah (Lol).

 Please, I need your criticisms on this blog. In whatever area you think I’m not doing it right, and suggestions on how to make it better. I’m learning, and yes we learn everyday, so I want to learn from you. Help me learn. Learning is doing, and I’m doing this with all of you. Drop a comment on what you think or send an email to me on pamciekeem@gmail.com.

 Once again, I say a heartfelt thank you for the readership, the people that dropped their comments, and also to the people that didn’t (please comment oo. Lol). God Bless you all and I appreciate you all.

How long, January?

Has anyone ever wondered how long January usually is? To me it’s the longest month of the year. It drags on as I keep staring at the calendar to check on the date and then gasp “only the 12th?” Seems like eons ago that we welcomed the New Year. How can 31 days seem so long?

To many of you, (yours truly included), we have to wait for the last week of the month before we get our monthly pay-check. And oh boy, when it comes, the chime of my message tone sends me flying (not running only) to check my phone if my account has been credited, and heaven help me if it’s one of MTN’s annoying messages cos I’ll have to hold myself from raining abuses on them (mtchww).

In irony, December passes so swiftly with all the festivity that comes with it, while January crawls like a snail. Many of us had traveled, borrowed, spent and even over-spent during the yuletide period and then find ourselves in the position of date-checking in January. Those either working in the private or public sector know the feeling that comes when you can’t wait for the month (January) to wind itself up.

I’m still not convinced that January has 31 days; it should be times two of that. The days seem so hard and the nights so long and cold. Anyway, till we see those magic words that our account balance has been credited, we work and wait, but please January don’t tarry.

Kindly pardon me as i digress a bit cos i seriously need to handle this harmattan issue. This is the first time that I’m experiencing this strong wave of harmattan since my 6-years stay in Lagos. Truly, this weather is indeed not for kids. Dear harmattan what is it sef? You have shown your power and we have seen it, kindly go back to where you are coming from. Stop adding to our mystery. Enough biko.

GUEST POST: Should i kneel or not?

A blog reader sent this mail to me and i decided to share with you all:

"Hello Pam, kindly help me out on this issue bugging me. I’m in my mid 30’s and in a relationship with this most incredible and lovely lady. We have been dating for more than a year and truth be told ‘she is the one’. Now here is the dilemma. She drops hints about a quiet and romantic proposal night with full moon, red roses, with me kneeling to propose, gazing into her eyes and the whole blah blah blah.

Yes, I do love Hollywood movies and the scene looks sweet and comical.  But I’m still not sure about the whole kneeling thing. Must i kneel? Is kneeling compulsory? If yes, when did it start? Cos I can’t remember my dad saying he knelt. If no, why make it our culture?

I have made salient cynic replies about not kneeling and she always replies with “haven’t you heard of the girl saying NO to an inappropriate proposal?” I do love this girl but should I still go on begging for a non-kneeling proposal, or just kneel and get it over with? (Grinning as I imagine self-kneeling)."

(Clears throat) Please dear friends, how do you think a man should propose? Let us help this kind gentleman by sharing our thoughts on the comment section. So how do you think a man should propose? As for me, I’m team kneeling. I’ll forever be team kneeling (winks).

Those Letter Days.

 I watched a music video a couple of days ago. The song, featuring Tosin Martins and Waje, addresses how back in the days lovers were made to earnestly articulate their feelings to one another on a piece of paper as it was the only means of communication to their significant other, miles away. Alas, those days are now in the past because what letters internally conveyed then, buttons on a keypad can now.

As I watched, I had a momentarily flashback to my first love letter (una ears don dey stand abi. I be gal nah.). It was in my junior year, from a boy in my class who was too shy to even hand over the letter to me himself; he had to use an intermediary (smiles). To cut the long story short, the whole thing didn't last a full term. It fizzled out in two weeks or so, despite the gifts and lunch money I received from him.

Anyways, I remember those years of writing and reading letters. We had to stay up late at night writing letters to cousins we haven’t seen in ages. Daddy reminding us that he will be traveling early so we need to write our letters a day before he leaves. Oh boy! We racked our brains to make pleasantries. Who remembers the phrases like ‘with my golden pen of love i write....’, also ‘from a fountain of love and river of kindness i write....’. Hmmm, we were so young and innocent.

I had my own share of letters, rarely wrote, but was given a lot (grins).

Presently, letter writing is fading away gradually. Old fashioned stuffs like love letter rarely exist. Girls aren’t wooed like before and the guys aren’t courteous as then.

Remember when you had to smuggle a love letter into the house and read it in the toilet or hide in the room, and then smile like you won ‘baba ijebu’ (i remember hiding in the toilet so mum won’t catch me. winks). Remember when girls use to dwindle their foot in the sand and say ‘let me think about it’ (as if they do. lol). How love letters were read over and over again evoking love and emotions as if the person was saying it out loud to you. How they were saved so carefully so as to go back to it.

Now, SMS, calls, facebook messages, etc, have taken over the old fashioned letters. I really enjoyed those days of letter writing. Who misses it? Cos I do.

The Social Media Era.

I was surfing the net yesterday night and then came across what a popular Nigerian actress/producer wrote to her fans. She was actually seeking their opinion on whether or not to have another child (the forth child), d comments I read made me laugh my head off. I wasn't shocked though cos we are presently in that era whereby privacy no longer exist. The social media have now become many people's cloth-line where they hang both their public and private linen. They now put up private issues that should remain between them and their spouses. There was another scenario where the wife of a former Nigerian football player posted a private chat shared between she and the husband on the social media. Wow! Nothing is secret anymore. Sometimes I just wonder if their spouses really agree to all these. People now throw shades at each other on social media, showing their dirty linens publicly. Plsooo, don't get me all wrong, I'm not hating biko. I guess I'm that kind of girl who feels that things meant for the bedroom should remain in the bedroom and not outside for all eyes to see. Come to think of it, during the pre-internet days, life was even better and easier. Atleast, our parents made decisions on their own. Public poll via the social media never played a part in their decision making. There was this "mind you own business" attitude. Marriages were managed well, relationships were stronger, without the world knowing how your bedroom looks like. I'm not saying it was perfect, but It was close(I think). Anywayz, that's my own opinion. Feel free to share your own opinion on this issue. Cheers!

When moving on says NO...

"I hurt so much, it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest, I can't breath, I can't just walk away, I'm addicted to the pain, the stress, the drama, I'm drowning in self-pity, I'm a mess and I don't think I'll ever be alright again. I'm going to be single forever". These are part of what we say when heartbreak comes knocking. We become helpless and hopeless, atleast some of us are. Which makes us dwell in that sadness with no clue of when to move on. So the question is, how long does it take a broken-heart to heal? Is it in years, or is it when you meet some other person (probably the rebound)? Well, in my own case, it took me two years before I could let go. Oh boy! Those were two long years. I felt so broken and didn't know what to do. I lost weight. missed meals, cried tears that tasted like blood and also lost interest in things that used to be fun. As a healing balm, i ended up in another relationship thinking I'll find solace there and finally heal but instead, I was more messed up because I was not in-love with him and I ended up breaking him. This is what happens when you run into a rebound guy/girl, you feel you can heal through them but that's not true cos you end up getting even worse. Don't get me wrong here, some are lucky enough to end up in a really happy and loving relationship with the next person they meet. So to those in the first category, instead of jumping into a rebound relationship, why not give yourself enough time to heal and re-discover yourself. I mean you should look at the positive side of life and tell yourself that if he/she was really yours then they'll still be with you. Try to lighten up, hang out with friends, do what you love doing best (I love watching movies and it makes me happy), don't beat yourself up, be merry and look good to the extent that even if your ex see's you, he/she will know what they are missing. Be strong, so that when moving on says NO you can't, you'll say YES I can... and I have. Yes we all can!!!

My New Year resolution is.....

The year has begun and most of us had made New Year resolutions, promised to start up a new relationship, move out of a loveless relationship, remain single so as to enjoy the freedom that comes with it, make new friends, get married, get a better job, have mad fun and so much more.

To some, last year left a bitter taste in their mouths, they hurt, they bled, they cried. While to some other people, 2014 was the beginning of the best years of their lives. In whatever category you are (don’t ask about mine, winks), I’m sure you would have something new in mind for this year.

Whatever negativity we came in contact with last year shouldn’t be carried over into this New Year. Let’s say NO to sulking, crying our eyes out, crying over spilled milk, over lose of job, failed relationship or any kind of failure we encountered in 2014 and forge ahead. To the ladies in the house, we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for (no insult to the men, though na una sure pass. Lol).  Cheers to the New year, to fresh start.

So as for me, I don’t do resolutions (never been good at keeping them), I make plans. So here are a few of my plans for 2015:

·         Starting up a blog (which has been accomplished).

·         Hanging out a lot (no more triangular kind of living).

·         Having more than one female friend as against a thousand and one male friends that I have already (I currently have only one off/on female friend who communicates with me only when she needs a serious advice. Wow, what a friend).

·         Watching a lot of romance movies (heard that you can learn one or two things which will help in spicing up your love-life).

·         Speak and understand the Yoruba language fluently before someone sells me here in Lagos and collects change on my head while I mop at them sheepishly ( Lol).

These are a few of my plans for this year (the list long oo) and I plan on accomplishing all of them this year. Ehmm, please don’t use it against me if by the end of the year I don’t, cos I’m only human.

So dear friends, what are your New Year resolutions/plans for this year 2015. Please feel free to share with us at the comment section.

Ciao.